The night and day after doctors appointments, not so good...

     Last night was rough, to say the least on these kiddos.  Catching up on their immunizations was rough for them and they had a little bit of pain and did not feel good at all.  I did the best I could to soothe them with PawPaw's help.  He is such a wonderful man.  He works 6 days a week to provide for us and we love him for it.  I know he works hard since he comes home muddy and dirty.  I may complain about the mud on the floor and the clothes, but I know he is working hard and doing a great job while he is at it.  Tommy is a very smart man with a wonderful imagination and can accomplish anything.  The projects and jobs they accomplish are extraordinary.  The pictures and videos he shows me and what I used to could see on Facebook (my account was hacked and cannot access my account any longer) are amazing.  

    I'm telling you, they are perfection.  One of these years we might be able to afford at least one of those projects, but if we don't, it's ok.  We are truly blessed with what we have.  We had a great life, or so I thought before the drug addiction.  We are truly living a great life now with numerous blessings and these kiddos and our granddaughter Braylee.  Our kids are struggling, but we try our best to help them.  This COVID crap is hard on everyone.  Don't get me started on the shitshow of that.

    I really need to learn to take better care of myself.  These last few months have been an eye-opener of how bad I have been to myself.  My body is hurting all of the time and my teeth are awful.  I used to have a normal amount of fat (even though I thought I was fat) and the prettiest teeth.  Now, I am carrying several spare tires and have rotten teeth.  But, that is not going to stop me from being the best MoMo I can be to these babies.  I just have to choose which days we can venture out and go to the park.  Some days I can get this body going and there are some days it says we have to stay around the couch and find ways to have fun inside (which is several days after an outing).  I wish we could treat this arthritis better, but we have to wait until the heart issues are ruled out.  Soon, soon.

    On a different note, I am wondering when our first freeze will be.  I cannot wait for these mosquitoes to die.  Oh my gosh, we cannot go outside or the kiddos will get swarmed.  If you leave the door open for a moment to let the dogs out or in, they just all come in and swarm us in the house.  It is awful.  Benadryl gel is being used a lot to soothe our mosquito bites.  We really wanted to take the kiddos trick or treating, but we will have to slather on the lotion and repellent to keep them away from us.  We have a few days and hopefully, we will be able to do something fun for these kiddos.  

    These changes in weather need to decide already.  The cool fronts along with the pollen are not helping our noses and throats.  Both kiddos have a runny nose and I have a sore throat.  I have had a double ear infection for over a month and have been through 2 rounds of antibiotics and steroids, but it just won't go away.  So frustrating.  Have a message out to my doctor to see what we can call in or if I need to go in to be seen.  I have never in my life been to the doctor this much.  That is why this needs to be a PSA for those who can start now, please take care of yourself.  It is so important.  I know now why my grandparents preached to me to do the same.  I just didn't take their advice.  

    Well, I hope everyone is having a great and blessed day.  I have to go do more dishes and more laundry.  And, I might as well sweep and mop up the floor again (done daily where my husband takes off his boots each evening).  TTYL.  God bless.

Just keep swimming...

     We saw some of our friends yesterday evening.  We are all in recovery and caught up a little bit.  We are so proud of each other and how we can all keep going.  Being able to talk about those things with others who understand helps so much.  There are days when I tell my story to everyone I see when I can and there are days when I just can't go through the thoughts again.  It can be a little overwhelming at times, but we get through it.

    Our grandbabies are keeping me going I know that.  We ate a late breakfast and went to Rose Park and played most of the morning.  We can feed the prairie dogs there, so we take a sleeve of crackers and try to get them far enough for them to grab and take back to their safe homes.  I just know I am tired, but I am so blessed to be able to do this with those kiddos.  My husband asked me to resign from my job to stay home due to the health issues I have, but we did not know that we would be taking this adventure, but we are glad that we are.  I would not change a thing.  

    I am in constant pain from arthritis that I have been diagnosed along with and fibromyalgia.  I am having a CT Angiogram the day before Thanksgiving and will find out if there are any problems with my heart.  I am praying that we can only have to deal with the arthritis and the bulging discs in my neck.  Small vessel disease runs in my family and I really do not want the doctor to tell me that is what it is.  I have ALL the symptoms.

    Eiher way, I will continue to live my life to take care of my family.  I know that I am not suffering as much as others that are out there, so I need to stop complaining and keep going.  I don't know what I want to accomplish with this blog, but I just want to be able to put my feelings out there and try to help others when I can.  I really have no idea how I am going to do that, but will try to find information that is helpful and can share it.  I just want to tell my story and try to inspire others.  I want so much for my family and myself that I want to be able to pray more and give more.

God bless y'all.

What's our purpose...

I have no clue anymore. I thought I was here to be a good person and to take care of my husband and family. It seems all I do is get griped and or get ignored. I can't do anything right some days and I try so hard. I work 40 hours a week to try and help provide, try and get my homework done while trying to keep the house clean, make sure Cody does his homework and cook supper and plan meals. It's so hard when my husband works 50+ hours a week and us so tired and cranky and I feel lonely and left out. He makes me feel like I'm bothering him when I talk to him. He's either on the phone or watching TV. I'm tired too, but I still have to get up and do what needs to be done. I just want to spend time with him and it's so hard when he's in a bad mood. He looks angry ALL the time. I'm scared to talk to him sometimes. I reach over at night while he's asleep and pray for God to be with him and help him. I ask God to protect him and let him know how much I love him. I pray for all of us. All of the kids, granddaughter, in-laws, everyone. I want us to be happy again. I don't want to be afraid. I just need peace and a little love. Is that too much to ask?

Feeling positive...

Ok, gotta keep going. This is getting better for us. We are happy. This is the last weekend jail for Tommy. I'm so happy. I just wish I could talk to him or schedule a visit. Sux. But, he will be home soon. Then, he has permission from the landlord to fix the leak since the plumber said it was too difficult to fix. Either way, we have a plan and we know God is encouraging us to keep going. Cody is even being positive about all this. I'm glad we can come together and pray and talk about things. We are going to make it. I love these guys. We will not give up...

God bless.

Cody's first day of High School ruined

So upset. Cody's first day of high school is ruined by a person who tried to bully me around and threaten me. She won't threaten my husband to his face but threaten to send him to prison to me to torture me. She has threatened me for the last time with her LIES. I'M TIRED OF HEARING GET LIES!! That is all that comes out of her mouth. She threatened to kill me today. All her nasty voicemails and horrific texts will make a good laugh when it is over but right now I'm sick. I am just tired of people running over me and thinking they are better than me. She needs to stop and realize the situation before she opens her mouth. And to call me a lazy day bitch is uncalled for. Man, I wian she would take a gander in the mirror. It may show her the truth. I know that people who are unhappy try very hard to make others unhappy to make them feel better. I have been praying for her, my husband, my son and for myself to keep calm and let this blow over. I will not be talked to like that. She will continue to be hung up on and her texts ignored if she continues to act that way. I will not let her talk to me or my family like that. I'm done with this devil of a person. There is no forgiveness unless God Himself has me forgive this person. My husband is standing behind me 100 percent and I am standing behind him the same. I don'tknow why people have to lie and threaten people. It makes me sick. It literally makes me sick. My blood pressure is way high right now and I have a massive headache and I want to throw up. This has got to stop. I am done with this person even though they are my husband's family. He has had told me that after today we will not have anything to do with her since she has threatened our family. I am ranting out my frustrations since she ruined my son's first day. She threatened to come up there to the school to assault me and kill me. I swear. I pray that she can live with her actions. I pray for all in this situation and pray noone is hurt more than they are now.  We can survive this. God is in our side. God bless.

New house, new possibilities

Oh my gosh. I can't believe it,  but here we are. Finally getting our shit together. I hope. It's a hard road, but I'm willing to travel it instead of doing the wrong things in life and having everyone look down on me and making me feel like crap. I (We) are winning.  Not losing. If anyone has a problem with that, they can kiss my ass. Most of our so called friends want us to fail so we can be just like them to make them feel better.  Not gonna fail assholes.  They just need to learn to be happy for us because Tommy and I care about each other and our kids. So, our road to recovery may be long and bumpy, but we wouldn't have it any other way. Life isn't easy. God has a plan. You just have to have the patience and faith to hang in there.  Love my family so much. Gotta go for now. God bless.

Love spending time with my husband

Cody and I are in Andrews at the Andrews Motor Inn waiting for Tommy to get off work.  I love my family so much.  We are still making it and want to keep making it.  We still have faith that things are going to be good and that we will not fail.

God had blessed us and we will not return to our old ways and mess up our life again.

We are by no means perfect, but we see the how the meth and other drugs are affecting other families and it just hurts my heart to see that.  The "meth monster" is what everyone is calling it in Abilene right now is winning and we have to kill it and the devil.  I am so blessed to know the difference.  

Cody and his Cotton Patch Chicken Fried Steak

At Buffalo Wild Wings with Cody

Cody eating wings and Buffalo Wild Wings

Freckles being a good boy

Tommy and I at my work.

Cody at the Zoo

Still on our path...

It's been a while and I have been working and working everyday.  But, we are getting to stand more and more on our feet and on our own. We are not dependent on anyone as it should be... We are happy but tired and we just love being together. Our little family is killing it. We got this and so on and so on. I love my husband and my son and we are gonna make it.

Our life has been getting better and better everyday.  We are staying focused on God and each other.  I am so proud of my husband and my son for keeping going.  Right now Cody has swimmer's ear in both ears and is a little puny, but will soon be getting better.  We had a scare yesterday about his blood pressure and the possibility of diabetes.  I am working on getting him an appointment with a new pediatrician to get it all checked out.  I was extremely surprised when the Dr. said is lungs were clear.  I have been waiting a long time for that.  He has been doing better controlling his asthma.  I just pray we can keep it under control.  I love my family and want the best for them.

Well, Freckles is now 4 years old.  I love my little boy.  He means the world to me and I don't know what I would do without him.  He has been there for me when I needed him and not known what to do.  When Tommy was locked up he kept me sane and I am just glad that is all behind us now.  I am just so happy that we have put all of that behind us.  We are still paying for the probation each week and trying to pay it off.  We are still behind and we are trying like hell to pay it off.  But we are now getting the balance lower and lower each week.  We are trying so hard to pay off our tickets and surcharges and all that we owe.  I am praying every day to keep trying even though we don't make enough each week or every two weeks.  I know we can make it and just keep rising.  There is no going back to where we were.  I will not go back down that road and don't want to go through that hell again.  I love my family so much and there is no way we need to subject ourselves to that junk and filth again.

I am a fat old lady now, but I like to be fat and sassy.  Cody and I have decided that we are going to lose weight no matter what.  But, I am going to do it in a healthy way, not on dope like last time.  My recovery is very important and so is mine and Cody's health.

God bless.

We need to stay on our road to recovery...

I am really loving that we go and have fun and play disc golf at the park as a family. We need to get out more and exercise. We have gained a lot of weight since we stopped doing drugs. Recovery is a smart choice for us. We work our butts off, but are proud of everything we have done to get here. I am so proud of my husband and my son's and am willing to keep trying and keep going. Love my family. God bless.

Still feel like crap, but things are looking up...

We are still sniffling and hacking but trying to get better.  Don't know why we seem to be sick everyday, but maybe it will get better soon. We are trying so hard to shake sickness.  I love the fact we are on our own in a house, we have a car that is new to us, but it's new. Our family is together and I am so happy. We have got a lot of work to do at the house, but it will be worth it.

Went to a new church this morning...

Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success. Proverbs 3:6 NCV http://bible.com/105/pro.3.6.NCV

We went to a new church today and it was good. It was a little different than the one in Brownwood, but had a wonderful message and a funny pastor. I enjoyed myself and sang and sang. I hope we go back. I want to finish the sermon he started. We really need to talk about God more. I pray we can pray more. That is my plan anyway.

Have a wonderful week and God bless.

New Year New Us!!

We are beginning a new year in a new place once again. Bless my son's heart. At least he thinks he'll be happy returning to Clyde school. I'm not sure how to feel yet. I just know it's hard right now to keep going and not go back to our old ways.  I will not allow my family to go through that again. We cannot allow the dope and drug addiction to control us. We are stronger than that. When we can stay together helps. In the beginning of this, we were not in the same town and 100 miles apart due to probation. Instead of Tommy goin to prison, we decided to try letting Tommy stay in Abilene and Cody are I stayed in Brookesmith. That was just as hard as when Tommy was in jail. Then we get our crappy landlord to surprise us with evicting us. He even admitted that it was because Tommy was not there. I was shattered. Cody was worse since not five minutes after Cody put our Christmas tree (that someone gave us) up, the landlord gave us the bad news. Now, we are temporarily living with Tommy's sister in Abilene. At least we are with Tommy. Robbie and Donald are so gracious to let us live here. I am forever grateful. I love my family. They are my world.

This will in fact be a good year. For my family, our son, our recovery and our extended family . We are still dealing with Tommy being on 24-hour surveillance and we almost have his bail bonds company paid off. We have one more payment. Woohoo!! I'm loving being able to see my hubby every morning. He keeps me going whether I like it or not . LOL

More to come of this year...

Evicted before Christmas...

Well, once again we have been given bad news. So tired of bad news. We've (my son & I) been having to live away from my husband because of probation rules, so now we will be reunited but by being evicted. The worst part is it is right before Christmas. It's so disappointing for my son. He just put up our tree and finished decorating it when our landlord knocked on the door giving us the bad news. But, God has a plan and I have to have faith it will work out. I am leaving Brookesmith today for Abilene, but have chosen to let my son stay longer, at least until Christmas break to keep working on getting his grades up and saying goodbye to his friends. He will be staying with friends and hope he can get his grades back up. He is almost there now and don't want to make it worse. He is a good kid  and is so smart. I love that boy with all my heart and his dad. I love Tommy's other 3 kiddos too even though two of them hate me. Everyone keeps saying they will come around and I pray that's true. 

Well, me and the dog are waiting on our ride. I can't wait to see my husband. At least I get to take my dog. Freckles is my baby. Cody gets to keep his dog with him, Sister. I just hope we can find our cat since she was lost last night. Jones is our cat but I don't know where she's at. The boys were too rowdy moving her and she took off. I hope Cody can find her. 

This just sucks right here at Christmas time. I know the Lord is with us and I have faith it will be alright. That's all for now. More later. God bless.

Well, we start off with bad news, Smoke died. She was just too young and a stray, so there wasn't much I could do. So, I had to bury my son's cat. He really loved her. But, things happen for a reason.  We never know. Only God knows.

Now Jones is doing rather well. She is helping me write this post now. I had to let Freckles and Sister out, they were disruptive. Lol.

My dogs and cat are part of my family and they are like my children. My babies are loved. And spoiled. They are the sweetest creatures.

I don't know if I could have made it through my recovery with my Freckles.

Well, here goes another episode in our saga.  Man, we are trying to catch a break and really really doing good, but things just cannot fall into place yet.  God has something planned for us and we just have to trust him.  We have tried 3 transmissions in the truck and none worked, so now we have put it aside and now have a car that we are working on.  I really want to get back to work even though I lost my job due to the no car thing and now I am looking for a new one but it cannot happen until we get wheels under us.  I know God has his timing and I trust Him.  Now my husband on the other hand tries to rush things and wants to hurry and get tires and etc for the car.  We will do this as soon as we can.  I know.  I love that man with all my heart and I hope he knows it.  This stress is tearing him up and he sometimes doesn't feel like a man and it angers him.  I try to reassure him but mess it all up sometimes.  It is hard for me too and he sometimes doesn't see that.  I need him and pray that his court date gets put off once again so we can get money saved up to pay more on his probation and on his bonds.  I am hoping for a miracle and need prayers.  God is with us and we will get through this.

We have two new faces in the family.  We have two new cats and they are the coolest.  I am not a real fan of them, but they chase mice and I am OK with that.  Tommy loves cats and I love him, so that is all.

Smoke

Jones

     I love my family more than anything and I am so proud of my husband and my children.  I am a proud wife and momma.  I pray for our family and what is going on around us and to keep everyone safe and happy.  Here is a pic of our youngest from last week:

So proud of my 14 year old!!

Things have gotten a little better since we are in recovery and will be working on this for the rest of our life.  We know we can do this and together we can beat it.

We are trying to be independent and don't like being dependent on other people to get a ride to town or to our appointments.  We thank God for the families around us and our friends and neighbors for their help.  Without them, we might still be lost and not be able to get back.  We want to thank everyone who has helped us along the way, family and friends.  (You know who you are).  God bless you all.

Back to college I go...

Well, I have gone and done it. I am now attending college. I will be 41 years old tomorrow and now I will begin this new chapter on July 3rd online at Colorado Technical College. Thanks to my husband's nudging and support, I just picked one and got accepted and here we go. Almost done with the financial paperwork and will begin my fast tracks tomorrow to save me $1300 a class if I can pass them all. I'm going to do the best I can and continue to apply for grants & scholarships. I'm determined to complete and graduate. I will and thanks to Tommy and Cody for encouraging me and keeping me going. Love them. Thanks to Stephen too, who by the way flies out to Job Corps tomorrow to Montana and will begin his college education. We are so proud and we could not be happier for him. I still want to stow away in his suitcase and go to Montana too. Lol. Maybe we will get to go up there for his graduation. The Lord is blessing us. Thank you Jesus.

Tommy is home...

Well, the old man is now home.  It has been a struggle and will keep being that way, but one of the hard parts is over.  Thank you Jesus.  We just gotta keep livin'.  I know we are going to mess up from time to time, but we are never going to go back to where we were.  My son will not have to experience that again. Right now with all the rain, it is stressful enough to keep his asthma under control.  Him and Mamaw are having a rough time.  These fronts keep coming through, he cannot breathe, Tommy is not feeling good, he is scared the bone infection is coming back and I have a migraine everyday.  It's like the movie Groundhog Day.  We wake up, and it starts all over with the same things happening, everyday.  I am just glad that the Lord allowed me to get something done to get my husband out.  I only had to ask for a co-signer and not have to ask anyone for money.  I was so proud of myself.  Cody and I have been trying so hard to get that money together to get him out of jail and keep him out.  We are trying to get his probation caught up and do his community service and all that needs to be done for that.  I have taken it upon myself to kick his ass and get this shit done.  The bonds people and I are getting acquainted and we are going to stay on track this time.

Those two make me happy.  I know I complain about them joking around all the time, but I know I'm too serious all of the time.  They keep it even I guess.  Or I guess we could call it balance.  LOL

It has been a really good week with Tommy home.  We have been talking and trying to plan our future.  Now we have not really fought at all.  It has been kinda nice.  We are just not as moody as we were.  Our recovery is different and ongoing.  There is no way to sugar-coat it, it is going to be hell.  But, God will get us through.  I am still going to pray and keep my "War Room" and we are going to all be in there I guess.   A praying family.  That is what we need. 

Still have a lot to do and a lot on my list.  I have to get doctor appointments made for them and talk with my new boss again.  I started yesterday in an all of sudden way.  They called and I said I could make it.  If all goes well, I will get all the stores they service in Brady.  Love it.  I had fun and just really like it.  I am happy about my pay too.  It is a dollar and a half more than what I was going to make at United and United was going to start me out at a dollar and thirty-five cents more than they usually start someone out at.  So, I am making almost three dollars more than what I could have started out at. LOL.  I am super excited.  I really want to do a good job and the rep that was training me yesterday said I did above and beyond a good job on all of my work.  I am proud of myself.  

Well, I need to go to town and get things done.  Hope you all have a good day.  God bless.

War...

Well, I'm at war with myself.  My husband does not believe me that I am behaving myself in my recovery.  I have not touched a bit since BEFORE he went to jail.  I know better.  Now I am not telling everyone this just to hear myself talk.  I am pissed now though.  I cannot get him out of jail and so he is angry with me.  So what the hell do I do?  Why does he have to take it out on me?

I am now at war with everyone but Tommy and Cody.  Cody is my rock.  Why should I trust anyone else?  Especially when no one trusts me.  I have given up a lot and wanted to change my life when I met my husband.  I accepted his two boys and his girl as my own.  But, they all called another mom and even made a point to call even another mom.  They have tried and tried to make me mad and threw it in my face that I am not their mother.  Now these women have only tried to break my husband and I up and have only tried to cause me heartache.  I dislike people like that and I have forgiven them, but I still dislike the fact that Tommy and I have been together for almost 15 years and one of them just cannot let him go.  She is so unhappy with her life that she will do a lot to make everyone else miserable.  I am not threatened by her, just tired of dealing with her.  I do not feel the need for her in mine or my husband's life and she needs to realize that and get the hell away from all of us.  She is not welcome around my home.

This is all about to come to an end.  I will not put up with people meddling with my family.  Now, when Tommy gets out, there are a lot of changes he has to deal with.  And there will be some other changes that we discussed.  There is going to be no contact, what so ever, with numerous people.  We will have new phone numbers and be "off the grid" to most people.  And I mean most.  He has said so hisself and I am taking that and running with it. I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY HUSBAND!!  That is what everyone is waiting for.  Well, the wait is over.  Go away.  I will not give up on him, so you can leave now and save yourselves the trouble for when he gets out.  There is no need for you to contact me or him, or even come by.  Thanks.

I am not making anyone the enemy.  They make themselves that when they lie to me or my son or even try to use us.  I have not tried to use anyone.  It may seem like it, but I have always made a point to not use anyone, even when other people do it to support their habit.

There are a lot of people out there that are nice to your face, some days.  But, there are even more fakes, users, manipulators and etc. out there.  I do not plan on being one of them.  We deal with them everyday.  We just need to know when to spot them.

I love my family and want what is best for them even if I AM THE BAD GUY/GAL.  That is all I have ever done and I pay the price.  They can all go around spewing lies and making themselves look good.  Ya know, they need to take a step back and check themselves again.  That magic mirror is wrong.  That things lies to us like we lie to ourselves.  We just have to know the difference and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in our lives or someone elses.

Thanks for listening.  God bless.

Patience...

I am really in need of some patience.  I am sitting here singing the Guns 'N Roses song. "Just a little patience, yeah yeah"  I guess it kind of calms me down.  It just gets me to singing that song anyways. Right now I don't have much patience left.  I am trying not to lose my temper and not get mad over every little thing.  It is hard for me not to say some things and hard for me to ask for help and point out the obvious.  I really really appreciate the help I have been receiving and want so much to be able to pay them back and not have that hanging over my head each day.  

Tommy tells me not to worry too much about it, but I really do worry about and I hate to even hint or ask for help.  Now I have gone and asked all of my family for help. Now no one is jumping up to help.  I cannot even get a response from my messages, either voice or text or even Facebook messaging. Am I that bad?  Have I burned my bridges?  I did not think that I have been asking too much of them.  My aunt has helped me a few times the last two weeks since I have had technical issues with my PayPal.  Thanks to her, I could get a few sales calls done and make a few bucks.  I really, really need help to make this work since I think we are down to the last leg of this journey.

I am really excited that I got an offer from United Supermarkets.  I really wanted the job and had my second interview yesterday.  It will be paying more per hour starting out since I have experience.  I got another call today and got a job offer from Driveline and I think I'm gonna take it.  It pays $2.00 an hour more than the United job's starting pay.  But, I really would rather do the merchandising job and really would like the freedom and the flexibility and even more money an hour.  I am super excited and thank God for this.  I am trying to get my life together and really want this opportunity.  The Lord had been with me and my family and now is the test and more and more positive things are going to happen.  I just need to keep on track and keep going.  I'm so proud and cannot wait to tell Tommy about it and since I cannot talk to him right now, I can tell him when I go see him in the morning.  I am super excited and can't wait until we leave to go see him.  Man, I guess I need to get some sleep so I can get up and get ready in the morning.

Good night and God bless!!!

Family...

   There are times when the world just tries to keep you down. We all know the devil has his hand in trying to make sure you don't succeed. Now, he has been working overtime on my family lately it seems. But I gotta say, we are doing our best to fend him off. We are getting stronger each day and can fend off his attacks. God is with us and we are so much better for it.  

   I don't see any reason why we have to be put this everyday, but I am feeling a little ragged lately.  This is really wearing me down and I am leaning hard on my sons.  They have been so awesome to help me.  This is making it more and more painful for me.  I am succeeding in staying straight.  I am in full recovery and will not go back.  There is no way.  I promised my sons and my husband and myself.  Tommy has also promised to stay on the right path.  

   Now things are trying to come crashing down.  A friend is in the hospital with 4 broke ribs, a broken collarbone and a collapsed lung and I am praying he gets well soon and I am still calling on God and leaning on Him.  He will always be there for me and my family.  I will always have Him.

    My husband is acting like a jerk today since I can't get more information about his case.  It hurts me everytime he gets upset and yells.  He's not mad at me, but I hate to hear him yell and get angry.  I keep trying to calm him down and keep his spirits up.  I can only do so much.  I love Tommy with all my heart.  I need him now more than ever.  I will be with him forever.  That means something to both of us.  We are one and will be that way and have God on our side.  

    I got some stuff to take care of, so I gotta get that done and pray some more on this.  God bless you all.

Russchelle