What's our purpose...

I have no clue anymore. I thought I was here to be a good person and to take care of my husband and family. It seems all I do is get griped and or get ignored. I can't do anything right some days and I try so hard. I work 40 hours a week to try and help provide, try and get my homework done while trying to keep the house clean, make sure Cody does his homework and cook supper and plan meals. It's so hard when my husband works 50+ hours a week and us so tired and cranky and I feel lonely and left out. He makes me feel like I'm bothering him when I talk to him. He's either on the phone or watching TV. I'm tired too, but I still have to get up and do what needs to be done. I just want to spend time with him and it's so hard when he's in a bad mood. He looks angry ALL the time. I'm scared to talk to him sometimes. I reach over at night while he's asleep and pray for God to be with him and help him. I ask God to protect him and let him know how much I love him. I pray for all of us. All of the kids, granddaughter, in-laws, everyone. I want us to be happy again. I don't want to be afraid. I just need peace and a little love. Is that too much to ask?

Still swimming...

I'm at a loss right now. I have been trying to keep it together all day and I'm about to break. If it is not one thing it's 20. When are things gonna go my way again? I thought we were going in the right direction and doing good. I'm praising God for all of our blessings, I'm praying, I'm trying. What happened?  Our refrigerator went out, we had to get a new water meter, now we have a water leak and Tommy is not here to fix it. I'm lost here. I can't do all of this myself. Tommy is at weekend jail and I can't talk to him because the jail lost my phone deposit money. I can't schedule a time to see him because their website is retarded and I can't schedule one in person because it's too late. I'm pissed. I am praying amd trying not to lose it right now. I know God is with me. I just want to talk to my husband. He knows what to say to help me. Please pray we make it. I know other people have bigger problems. I know I can handle ours, one step at a time.

Better days ahead...

Well, turns out Cody had a good day after all the fiasco yesterday morning. I was extremely worried.  But, as usual, our boy bounced back and conquered.  Hallelujah!! 

Cody says he will end up liking this bigger, different school. I hope.

I pray that he can make friends and keep the drama low in his group of friends. Here lately, there is drama everywhere. 

Well, I guess that person who wants to kill me is biding their time. She keeps texting me and taunting me to let me know she is either going to whoop my ass ads or kill me. I just have to ignore all the horrific texts and name calling. I will not plat her game and respond.  I get very angry and it makes me sad that someone can be so hateful to me. I knew she was like this, but this is so very wrong. I knew how she could be to others since I have witnessed it to people I don't know and even Tommy's and my family. I should have been prepared for the nasty, horrible person that I saw yesterday. I will not be around this person nor let my son be around her. She only sets a bad example each time we see her and she will not take it out on us. I'm not perfect by any means, but I only did what my husband told me to do and that is it. I will not let her run over me. I was so sick yesterday from her words. Tommy said not to let it bother me and that she does it on purpose and that she was wrong in everything she was saying. If she had been nice from the beginning and not insulted me for the last 2 weeks prior to us moving,  she would not have had to clean the house we moved out of. I would have done it properly when I had the time.  She does not care that I have responsibilities that I have also. It does not all revolve around her and that is where she got mad that I did not bow down to her and jump when she thought I needed to. I ain't nobody's bitch and she now knows it. I have bent over backwards for her also and have done numerous things for her. I know she helped us out, but she don't have to throw it in my face constantly.  That is what makes me the maddest.  I will not understand why someone says they want to help, but when you ask for help or they actually do help that they look down on us and treat us like shit. She ain't any better than me or should I say she isn't any better than me. She should not try to think she is perfect. I know better and have  caught her in too many lies. It's disgraceful the way she lies about her husband and to her husband. I will not be a part of that.

Well, there I went into a rant again. I am just trying to talk it out and get it off my chest. I'm hopefully going to get this all behind us.

I'm praying it all blows over.

God bless.

Overwhelmed and fed up

I am just tired of some people.  I know I need to pray for them, but they seem upsetting me on purpose. They damn well know it affects me and I'm just done. I know they are liars and that they don't care about me so why do I even try to help them when I get stabbed in the back. What can I do? I just have to keep trying I guess. I'm just broken. This wears me down. Along with the moving to a new house, changing schools and I'm failing both of my classes since I have no time to study or do my homework. I'm just ready to scream and give up. I want to hide from the world and stay away from everyone. This one person is evil and nasty and spreads a lot of bullshit about us to everyone. I just want to do good in my life and when I try this person find the wrong in it and points it out for all to see and it overshadows the good. I'm lost here. I need God to get me through this.

Father, I pray that you give my family strength to get through this without an awful incindent. I want to pray for her and make her see that I am trying to help and I want to be a good person Lord. I also pray that you keep  Tommy and Cody calm through all this.  Thank you for all of the blessings we have received.
In Jesus name I pray.  AMEN 

We need to stay on our road to recovery...

I am really loving that we go and have fun and play disc golf at the park as a family. We need to get out more and exercise. We have gained a lot of weight since we stopped doing drugs. Recovery is a smart choice for us. We work our butts off, but are proud of everything we have done to get here. I am so proud of my husband and my son's and am willing to keep trying and keep going. Love my family. God bless.

Need Prayers and Spiritual Guidance

If anyone out there can pray for us it would be much appreciated.  We have been having some problems with some supernatural things that have been happening in the evil spirit way and I am just needing some guidance and some prayer.  We are also needing prayer in the aspect of our marriage.  

We are struggling to get back into society from being incarcerated, addicted to an illegal substance and just all-around family stuff.  I really want to get back into church and just be normal and raise our son and be good people so to speak. 

I have a job that I have applied for and really want that I can do really well and hope the man calls me on Monday to go do it.  I just pray that I can do this and get us going on this part of our lives.  We have no house, no money, no jobs and just need to get the ball rolling on applying for HUD and getting things that need to be done, done and keep going.  If you can help, please do.  God bless you and thank you.