Family...

   There are times when the world just tries to keep you down. We all know the devil has his hand in trying to make sure you don't succeed. Now, he has been working overtime on my family lately it seems. But I gotta say, we are doing our best to fend him off. We are getting stronger each day and can fend off his attacks. God is with us and we are so much better for it.  

   I don't see any reason why we have to be put this everyday, but I am feeling a little ragged lately.  This is really wearing me down and I am leaning hard on my sons.  They have been so awesome to help me.  This is making it more and more painful for me.  I am succeeding in staying straight.  I am in full recovery and will not go back.  There is no way.  I promised my sons and my husband and myself.  Tommy has also promised to stay on the right path.  

   Now things are trying to come crashing down.  A friend is in the hospital with 4 broke ribs, a broken collarbone and a collapsed lung and I am praying he gets well soon and I am still calling on God and leaning on Him.  He will always be there for me and my family.  I will always have Him.

    My husband is acting like a jerk today since I can't get more information about his case.  It hurts me everytime he gets upset and yells.  He's not mad at me, but I hate to hear him yell and get angry.  I keep trying to calm him down and keep his spirits up.  I can only do so much.  I love Tommy with all my heart.  I need him now more than ever.  I will be with him forever.  That means something to both of us.  We are one and will be that way and have God on our side.  

    I got some stuff to take care of, so I gotta get that done and pray some more on this.  God bless you all.

Russchelle

My dog Freckles

Freckles is just a miracle.  His mom had 10 pups total.  There were solid brown, solid black and only two speckled or freckled.  There was Freckles who is red, brown, tan and white and there is Toby who is black, silver and white.  Out of the 10 pups, only 3 survived.  Freckles is one and the other two barley made it from what I understand.  I took Freckles early to help the mom out since she had 10 and Freckles really never stayed up by the others anyways.  He was very loud and it bothered the owner of the mom.  The mom was a chocolate lab and the dad was a blue pit.  Pictured below is the dad, our blue pit, Blue.  Miss that boy everyday.  He was my husband's dog and he was the best.  Now, the mother of the pups, Pebbles is deceased too.  She died a week after I took Freckles.  Come to find out, she had been sick and I guess she passed through her milk to the other pups and 7 of them died.  Now like I said, I took Freckles early because he was different and that the owner of the mom didn't like him being so loud and staying off alone.  Thank God I took him is why he is healthy and alive today.  He is my baby.  He is huge now and will be two on July 4th.  But, I wouldn't take for him.  

I love my little Freckles.  He is the best dog I have ever had.  During my recovery and while Tommy is incarcerated.  This dog is my therapy.  He listens to me, lets me cry and tries to make it better, he is just an all around help.  Cody and Freckles get along most days.  They play a lot and fight a lot.  But, in any case I know I got a good, smart dog and at least he loves my husband or one of them would have to go.  And I guess I would have to find a good home for my husband to go to.  Ha Ha.  Just kidding.  They would have to suck it up and go on.  I would not give up my husband, my son or my dogs.  I love them all and my other sons and my daughter.  I love my family and it is us against the world.

Above is pictures of  Freckles enjoying the fan.  He is such a ham.  He loves to lay in front of the air conditioner and the fan.  He really cracks me up.  I love that boy.  He may be a Daddy soon.  More on that later.  God bless.  

Photography...

      My son and his photos are too cool.  He has an eye for certain situations and just loves to set some scenes up.  He just has a knack of finding the right snapshot most days.  He loves to play with the filters on all of the phone camera and apps.  Now that he has a new phone and it has so many to choose from he is ecstatic.  He can do thermal imaging and stencil and even kaleidoscope.  He just loves it.  These photos here today a few he took on his Windows Lumina phone that I just love.  I will try to include some from the new phone and even a few of mine that we took.  I really want to get him a camera.  I really would like for him to experience the way it feels to look through the lens and imagine the shot.  I want to get him a Canon.  I love the Canon Eos Rebel.  I used one for years when I was on the Yearbook Staff in high school and just cannot image using another.  I used one when my step-mother-in-law had a vintage western photography business.  Man, we had thousands of photos of the horses, sunsets and just old barns and stuff.  Maybe that is where Cody got the yearning for photography from.  I used to just take him riding in the pasture and snap photos.  He was a ham back then.  Now he still is, but mostly selfies.  LOL

    I just think it is cool that my son loves to take photos just like me  I really love to catch people, animals and even the scenery.  My favorite thing right now is heart-shaped things in nature.  Our preacher talked about it one Sunday and it makes me think like him.  God loves us and that is one of the many ways he reminds us of his love.  I love to see heart-shaped cactus, leaves or anything in nature.  I have mostly pics of those and Cody had mostly sunsets and horizons.  But, anyways I love to see what he comes up with each time.  He is my little boy even though he is not so little.  When we went to visit his Dad in jail, Tommy said it looked like he grew a foot.  He is getting so big and I just love him so much and that is why MY recovery is so important.  I know that Tommy is being put through his recovery/detox by being in jail, but my son is helping me with mine.  He knows what is going on because I tell him everything.  I mean EVERYTHING.  That boy knows who is fake and who is real because I am teaching him.  Talk about the "School of Hard Knocks".  Cody knows how to read people and can spot a fake.  He knows who is trying to use who and can keep them at arms length.  

     Now I know that he is only 13, but he can be very sneaky and fool a lot and I mean a lot of people into thinking he is just a big old dummy.  That boy is smart.  He knows how to play the part to be a clown and to secretly be gathering info to see if he needs later.  He is not a malicious person, but he could be if crossed too many times.  Right now there is someone he will not talk to due to the treatment he received.  Now they are still trying to buy him off with certain items and he just doesn't want them.  So, if it is edible, I eat it or give it away.  If it's usable, I keep it and use it or give it to someone who needs it.  I don't sell it.  I need money, but if I have something someone needs, I will just give it to them because I have been there.  Heck, I'm still there and can only go up from here.  Well, will try and post more later.  Blogger keeps deleting my drafts so I have to rewrite them at least twice so it takes me longer to publish a blog.  Have a good Saturday.  We have to get up early and get ready.  We are going to see Tommy in the morning and I am super excited.  God bless.

Keep smiling and looking upward and it will all work out.

Life is a funny thing...

Ya know, life really is a funny thing.  For almost 15 years I have been focused on my husband and kids and still am, don't get me wrong.  I have been told that I care too much, that I smother them and that I need to let them do things on their own and I am controlling.  I will not apologize for caring.  Now, you don't care when you just stick your nose in and try to make sure they do what you want them to do and not care what the outcome is when they don't.  I follow through and accept the outcome, whatever it is.  Now I'm not saying that it has not been a struggle, but it has not been as bad as most.  I know I am truly blessed to have my family and will always be grateful.  There are a lot of people out there that feel since they are not happy and that they did not get the life they deserve due to abuse or hardship that no one else should have it too.  Well, ya got another thing coming.  People, you don't expect it.  You need to be content with what you have and make the most of it to be happy.  You are a good person, no matter what you have done.  We are created in God's image.  And I have never seen any evil in that.  You have got think that there are a lot of people out there that just give up because maybe they don't think they are worthy of forgiveness or even think they can turn their lives around.  No, they are just lazy or misinformed.  There is always a solution.  It may not be the one that they want, but there is always a way to FIX things.  Broken or unbroken.  Now, I do not know it all, but I do know that I love having my family and what friends we have left due to recover/rehab issues.  You really need to stop and think:  What has God given me that I have put away and not looked at or used in a while?  Well, it may be your conscience, your pride, your boldness, your sense of humor or whatever you had or thought you had or even thought you might have.  You never know.  Stop and think and let contentment or even adventure unfold and see where it takes you.  Right now I am sewing up a friends pants and looking through my sewing box.  I have found a dozen or more of projects I put away to sew up later.  I am breaking it out and granted, I will not do them all today, but it makes me think, what have I put away that I have forgotten about?  Now I am not talking about all of the physical things either.  Someone out there is struggling with drugs, abuse, neglect, and numerous other things out there.  Let God restore all of your gifts.  It will not happen overnight, but it will happen if you stay positive and keep your eyes on God.  He knows what is best for you.  Thanks for listening.  I am full of contentment and joy even though Tommy is incarcerated and my face prison/rehab.  I am happy he is and will get the help he needs and I am in recovery myself and we talk about it over the phone.  He knows and he accepts.  We pray together and pray for each other.  I love him and he loves us.  We will get through this and keep going.  There isn't any other way for us.

God Bless Y'all!!!

Things will start to get better soon...

I know this because I am willing to go the extra mile to make sure it happens. I love my family and I have only wanted the best, but as they say, "shit happens". I know I gripe about my family issues, but I am sure that rehab is not the answer for me since I have been clean and sober for months. I do not need meth nor any other drugs. Beer does not even taste as good as it did. I know that Tommy was ordered to go to rehabilitation, but he may or may not need it. I just need him to understand that now we have a leg to stand on since one of the qualifications for disability is being addicted to a drug, etc. Now, I know there is more to it, but I'm willing to research it and get this done too. I know that I take on too much but really want to help and not hurt.