The night and day after doctors appointments, not so good...

     Last night was rough, to say the least on these kiddos.  Catching up on their immunizations was rough for them and they had a little bit of pain and did not feel good at all.  I did the best I could to soothe them with PawPaw's help.  He is such a wonderful man.  He works 6 days a week to provide for us and we love him for it.  I know he works hard since he comes home muddy and dirty.  I may complain about the mud on the floor and the clothes, but I know he is working hard and doing a great job while he is at it.  Tommy is a very smart man with a wonderful imagination and can accomplish anything.  The projects and jobs they accomplish are extraordinary.  The pictures and videos he shows me and what I used to could see on Facebook (my account was hacked and cannot access my account any longer) are amazing.  

    I'm telling you, they are perfection.  One of these years we might be able to afford at least one of those projects, but if we don't, it's ok.  We are truly blessed with what we have.  We had a great life, or so I thought before the drug addiction.  We are truly living a great life now with numerous blessings and these kiddos and our granddaughter Braylee.  Our kids are struggling, but we try our best to help them.  This COVID crap is hard on everyone.  Don't get me started on the shitshow of that.

    I really need to learn to take better care of myself.  These last few months have been an eye-opener of how bad I have been to myself.  My body is hurting all of the time and my teeth are awful.  I used to have a normal amount of fat (even though I thought I was fat) and the prettiest teeth.  Now, I am carrying several spare tires and have rotten teeth.  But, that is not going to stop me from being the best MoMo I can be to these babies.  I just have to choose which days we can venture out and go to the park.  Some days I can get this body going and there are some days it says we have to stay around the couch and find ways to have fun inside (which is several days after an outing).  I wish we could treat this arthritis better, but we have to wait until the heart issues are ruled out.  Soon, soon.

    On a different note, I am wondering when our first freeze will be.  I cannot wait for these mosquitoes to die.  Oh my gosh, we cannot go outside or the kiddos will get swarmed.  If you leave the door open for a moment to let the dogs out or in, they just all come in and swarm us in the house.  It is awful.  Benadryl gel is being used a lot to soothe our mosquito bites.  We really wanted to take the kiddos trick or treating, but we will have to slather on the lotion and repellent to keep them away from us.  We have a few days and hopefully, we will be able to do something fun for these kiddos.  

    These changes in weather need to decide already.  The cool fronts along with the pollen are not helping our noses and throats.  Both kiddos have a runny nose and I have a sore throat.  I have had a double ear infection for over a month and have been through 2 rounds of antibiotics and steroids, but it just won't go away.  So frustrating.  Have a message out to my doctor to see what we can call in or if I need to go in to be seen.  I have never in my life been to the doctor this much.  That is why this needs to be a PSA for those who can start now, please take care of yourself.  It is so important.  I know now why my grandparents preached to me to do the same.  I just didn't take their advice.  

    Well, I hope everyone is having a great and blessed day.  I have to go do more dishes and more laundry.  And, I might as well sweep and mop up the floor again (done daily where my husband takes off his boots each evening).  TTYL.  God bless.

Blessed, dressed and ready for the day...

     Taking the grandbabies to their doctor appointments today.  They have missed a few the doctor's office told me.  But, we will get them back on track.  I was told that they were up to date and had been going. Another lie.  I hate being lied to.  Just tell me the truth and deal with it.  I really hoped their mother would get out of this lying stage or whatever it is.  I know it works for her for others, but not me.  Anyways, we are going to try and keep up with all of the appointments that are needed for their health and whatever CPS wants the kids to be evaluated on.  

    We are not fans of CPS and will probably not ever be.  We have had dealings with them even before we were on drugs.  They have been horrible to us then and even more so when we were getting clean and caring for our youngest son.  There are many families out there that need CPS to get involved, but for someone to call CPS on us was uncalled for.  I am well aware of who did it and have forgiven them, but in our case, it was a joke.  All I can say is we were on our way to getting clean regardless and that almost pushed us back into hell.  I have never called CPS on anyone and do not plan to.  I hate though when you hear people saying "I'm going to call CPS on you".  I just wish those folks would think before they speak.

    I at first had a hard time with this new change, but I think I am getting the hang of it again.  I was frustrated at first because our daughter could not take care of these kids.  And to be honest, it is hard, but we are in a position to take care of them because others cannot.  We are in recovery and CPS at first told us that we would not be able to keep the kids but, they changed their minds when they found out the other choices.  Now that tells you that we are the better fit if you can believe that.

    

    

    It just brings a smile to my face each time Tommy loves on these babies.  I know they make him so happy and that just makes me the happiest woman in the world.  Tommy is my forever and I love him so much.  This is a struggle for us, but we have faith in God and we will make it.  I have no idea who reads this or if anyone reads this, but I feel better just putting my feelings down and I also feel better when I talk to God and pray about all of this that is going on.

    Well, the time has come to get everything rounded up that needs to be rounded up.  It is not too much with a toddler and an infant, but it can be overwhelming at times.  Cody helped me get a new stroller the other day when we bought a better car seat for Nova and let me tell you it is so much better.  The car seat snaps into the stroller just like the base and has a seat for Peyton and I love it.  It makes trips to the park, the store, and now to the doctor so much better.  

    

    I hope everyone has a blessed day and be happy and kind.  Lord knows we all need it.

Just keep swimming...

     We saw some of our friends yesterday evening.  We are all in recovery and caught up a little bit.  We are so proud of each other and how we can all keep going.  Being able to talk about those things with others who understand helps so much.  There are days when I tell my story to everyone I see when I can and there are days when I just can't go through the thoughts again.  It can be a little overwhelming at times, but we get through it.

    Our grandbabies are keeping me going I know that.  We ate a late breakfast and went to Rose Park and played most of the morning.  We can feed the prairie dogs there, so we take a sleeve of crackers and try to get them far enough for them to grab and take back to their safe homes.  I just know I am tired, but I am so blessed to be able to do this with those kiddos.  My husband asked me to resign from my job to stay home due to the health issues I have, but we did not know that we would be taking this adventure, but we are glad that we are.  I would not change a thing.  

    I am in constant pain from arthritis that I have been diagnosed along with and fibromyalgia.  I am having a CT Angiogram the day before Thanksgiving and will find out if there are any problems with my heart.  I am praying that we can only have to deal with the arthritis and the bulging discs in my neck.  Small vessel disease runs in my family and I really do not want the doctor to tell me that is what it is.  I have ALL the symptoms.

    Eiher way, I will continue to live my life to take care of my family.  I know that I am not suffering as much as others that are out there, so I need to stop complaining and keep going.  I don't know what I want to accomplish with this blog, but I just want to be able to put my feelings out there and try to help others when I can.  I really have no idea how I am going to do that, but will try to find information that is helpful and can share it.  I just want to tell my story and try to inspire others.  I want so much for my family and myself that I want to be able to pray more and give more.

God bless y'all.

Getting back into the swing of things, I hope...

     There is so much to write about and so much going on that I cannot think of everything to put in this post.  We have been in recovery for over 5 years and are doing good.  No relapses, thank the Lord.  Things had gotten a little rough during quarantine when Tommy and I contracted COVID, but we only lost our taste and smell and had minor symptoms.  We quarantined with Cody even though he tested negative and still had no symptoms.  I was worried he would get it and it would complicate his asthma.   But we were blessed.  

    It has been over a year since I have written a blog post.  So much has happened and so much has gotten better.  We are still living paycheck to paycheck, but we have good reason too.  I have resigned from my job at the cleaners over a month ago to stay at home due to health issues, but now we are keeping 2 of our grandbabies and I am staying home with them to take care of them.  It is a sudden change since our youngest son is 19.  Peyton is a year and a half and Nova is almost 4 months.  It has changed our lives for the better in our eyes we enjoy these babies.  Not to say it is not stressful sometimes, but we are getting along nicely.  

    I will have more in later posts, since I am trying to get back into blogging.

God bless y'all.

How can I keep going?

The only way to keep going is with God on my side. It just keeps getting harder and harder each day. We have our oldest son and his wife move in with is temporarily and it's hard. Besides the fact that there is not enough room for all of us and the financial responsibilities are tough. We really want to help as many others as we can since we have been helped by many through our addiction and stupidity.  I am trying my best to be a good person. We have tried this once before and we were taken advantage of. It ended badly. But, I just cannot allow them to live in their car. We are in a position to help others,  but when it seems like I do everything,  I'm tired. I work full-time, just finished getting my Bachelor's degree and I want to go back for my Master's,  but may have to put it off since I have no time and cannot do homework with all of them there.  Our granddaughter stays with us a lot when they are able to keep her.  I will make sure that she gets to see her parents. But why is it so hard for me? I'm trying to be a good person but feel like a doormat.  I don't want help, just someone to try and so things. Just try not to tear up our stuff. I'm just frustrated by everything.  I pray we can all make it until they find a place to live. Will continue this later...

Fall is coming...

Great Day...

Today has been a great day. I have been praying and just feel good about things. I am positive that things are going our way. We are going to get this water leak fixed soon and just keep livin'. I am in a very good mood. I miss my hubby, but got to talk with him a minute ago. He will be home tomorrow at 6. Love him so much. My attitude is much better today. No stress, less worrying. Prayer works. Love to spread the Word. Well, just wanted to share my good and positive day.  God bless...

Feeling positive...

Ok, gotta keep going. This is getting better for us. We are happy. This is the last weekend jail for Tommy. I'm so happy. I just wish I could talk to him or schedule a visit. Sux. But, he will be home soon. Then, he has permission from the landlord to fix the leak since the plumber said it was too difficult to fix. Either way, we have a plan and we know God is encouraging us to keep going. Cody is even being positive about all this. I'm glad we can come together and pray and talk about things. We are going to make it. I love these guys. We will not give up...

God bless.

Still swimming...

I'm at a loss right now. I have been trying to keep it together all day and I'm about to break. If it is not one thing it's 20. When are things gonna go my way again? I thought we were going in the right direction and doing good. I'm praising God for all of our blessings, I'm praying, I'm trying. What happened?  Our refrigerator went out, we had to get a new water meter, now we have a water leak and Tommy is not here to fix it. I'm lost here. I can't do all of this myself. Tommy is at weekend jail and I can't talk to him because the jail lost my phone deposit money. I can't schedule a time to see him because their website is retarded and I can't schedule one in person because it's too late. I'm pissed. I am praying amd trying not to lose it right now. I know God is with me. I just want to talk to my husband. He knows what to say to help me. Please pray we make it. I know other people have bigger problems. I know I can handle ours, one step at a time.

Yet again...

I'm so tired of haters. I pray she can find something to make her happy since I'm done letting her run over me. I will not respond to her hateful, name calling, insulting texts.  It is really affecting my attitude but God will sort it all out. I have faith that she will figure out that I don't have to play her game.

God bless.

Better days ahead...

Well, turns out Cody had a good day after all the fiasco yesterday morning. I was extremely worried.  But, as usual, our boy bounced back and conquered.  Hallelujah!! 

Cody says he will end up liking this bigger, different school. I hope.

I pray that he can make friends and keep the drama low in his group of friends. Here lately, there is drama everywhere. 

Well, I guess that person who wants to kill me is biding their time. She keeps texting me and taunting me to let me know she is either going to whoop my ass ads or kill me. I just have to ignore all the horrific texts and name calling. I will not plat her game and respond.  I get very angry and it makes me sad that someone can be so hateful to me. I knew she was like this, but this is so very wrong. I knew how she could be to others since I have witnessed it to people I don't know and even Tommy's and my family. I should have been prepared for the nasty, horrible person that I saw yesterday. I will not be around this person nor let my son be around her. She only sets a bad example each time we see her and she will not take it out on us. I'm not perfect by any means, but I only did what my husband told me to do and that is it. I will not let her run over me. I was so sick yesterday from her words. Tommy said not to let it bother me and that she does it on purpose and that she was wrong in everything she was saying. If she had been nice from the beginning and not insulted me for the last 2 weeks prior to us moving,  she would not have had to clean the house we moved out of. I would have done it properly when I had the time.  She does not care that I have responsibilities that I have also. It does not all revolve around her and that is where she got mad that I did not bow down to her and jump when she thought I needed to. I ain't nobody's bitch and she now knows it. I have bent over backwards for her also and have done numerous things for her. I know she helped us out, but she don't have to throw it in my face constantly.  That is what makes me the maddest.  I will not understand why someone says they want to help, but when you ask for help or they actually do help that they look down on us and treat us like shit. She ain't any better than me or should I say she isn't any better than me. She should not try to think she is perfect. I know better and have  caught her in too many lies. It's disgraceful the way she lies about her husband and to her husband. I will not be a part of that.

Well, there I went into a rant again. I am just trying to talk it out and get it off my chest. I'm hopefully going to get this all behind us.

I'm praying it all blows over.

God bless.

New house, new possibilities

Oh my gosh. I can't believe it,  but here we are. Finally getting our shit together. I hope. It's a hard road, but I'm willing to travel it instead of doing the wrong things in life and having everyone look down on me and making me feel like crap. I (We) are winning.  Not losing. If anyone has a problem with that, they can kiss my ass. Most of our so called friends want us to fail so we can be just like them to make them feel better.  Not gonna fail assholes.  They just need to learn to be happy for us because Tommy and I care about each other and our kids. So, our road to recovery may be long and bumpy, but we wouldn't have it any other way. Life isn't easy. God has a plan. You just have to have the patience and faith to hang in there.  Love my family so much. Gotta go for now. God bless.

Love spending time with my husband

Cody and I are in Andrews at the Andrews Motor Inn waiting for Tommy to get off work.  I love my family so much.  We are still making it and want to keep making it.  We still have faith that things are going to be good and that we will not fail.

God had blessed us and we will not return to our old ways and mess up our life again.

We are by no means perfect, but we see the how the meth and other drugs are affecting other families and it just hurts my heart to see that.  The "meth monster" is what everyone is calling it in Abilene right now is winning and we have to kill it and the devil.  I am so blessed to know the difference.  

Cody and his Cotton Patch Chicken Fried Steak

At Buffalo Wild Wings with Cody

Cody eating wings and Buffalo Wild Wings

Freckles being a good boy

Tommy and I at my work.

Cody at the Zoo

Still on our path...

It's been a while and I have been working and working everyday.  But, we are getting to stand more and more on our feet and on our own. We are not dependent on anyone as it should be... We are happy but tired and we just love being together. Our little family is killing it. We got this and so on and so on. I love my husband and my son and we are gonna make it.

Our life has been getting better and better everyday.  We are staying focused on God and each other.  I am so proud of my husband and my son for keeping going.  Right now Cody has swimmer's ear in both ears and is a little puny, but will soon be getting better.  We had a scare yesterday about his blood pressure and the possibility of diabetes.  I am working on getting him an appointment with a new pediatrician to get it all checked out.  I was extremely surprised when the Dr. said is lungs were clear.  I have been waiting a long time for that.  He has been doing better controlling his asthma.  I just pray we can keep it under control.  I love my family and want the best for them.

Well, Freckles is now 4 years old.  I love my little boy.  He means the world to me and I don't know what I would do without him.  He has been there for me when I needed him and not known what to do.  When Tommy was locked up he kept me sane and I am just glad that is all behind us now.  I am just so happy that we have put all of that behind us.  We are still paying for the probation each week and trying to pay it off.  We are still behind and we are trying like hell to pay it off.  But we are now getting the balance lower and lower each week.  We are trying so hard to pay off our tickets and surcharges and all that we owe.  I am praying every day to keep trying even though we don't make enough each week or every two weeks.  I know we can make it and just keep rising.  There is no going back to where we were.  I will not go back down that road and don't want to go through that hell again.  I love my family so much and there is no way we need to subject ourselves to that junk and filth again.

I am a fat old lady now, but I like to be fat and sassy.  Cody and I have decided that we are going to lose weight no matter what.  But, I am going to do it in a healthy way, not on dope like last time.  My recovery is very important and so is mine and Cody's health.

God bless.

We need to stay on our road to recovery...

I am really loving that we go and have fun and play disc golf at the park as a family. We need to get out more and exercise. We have gained a lot of weight since we stopped doing drugs. Recovery is a smart choice for us. We work our butts off, but are proud of everything we have done to get here. I am so proud of my husband and my son's and am willing to keep trying and keep going. Love my family. God bless.

Still feel like crap, but things are looking up...

We are still sniffling and hacking but trying to get better.  Don't know why we seem to be sick everyday, but maybe it will get better soon. We are trying so hard to shake sickness.  I love the fact we are on our own in a house, we have a car that is new to us, but it's new. Our family is together and I am so happy. We have got a lot of work to do at the house, but it will be worth it.

Went to a new church this morning...

Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success. Proverbs 3:6 NCV http://bible.com/105/pro.3.6.NCV

We went to a new church today and it was good. It was a little different than the one in Brownwood, but had a wonderful message and a funny pastor. I enjoyed myself and sang and sang. I hope we go back. I want to finish the sermon he started. We really need to talk about God more. I pray we can pray more. That is my plan anyway.

Have a wonderful week and God bless.

Brrrr it's cold outside!!!!

Wow, woke up to 12° this morning. The weather channel says it felt like 4°.  I just know it was darn cold.  Sitting here with the dog and Tommy.  He is asleep.  At least he can sleep. When it gets a little warmer I gotta put my dog Freckles outside.  He doesn't get to stay inside unless it's below freezing. I miss him though.  Today has been a lazy day. I'm so freaking tired. My new job is kicking my butt. But, helping provide  is all I'm worried about . More later.  God bless.

I'm wanting this year to start off right...

I'm reading Joyce Meyer's free devotional on my mobile device - check it out... Start Your Day RightWhen I said, My foot is slipping, Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, held me up. —Psalm 94:18 Some people seem to... http://google.com

New Year New Us!!

We are beginning a new year in a new place once again. Bless my son's heart. At least he thinks he'll be happy returning to Clyde school. I'm not sure how to feel yet. I just know it's hard right now to keep going and not go back to our old ways.  I will not allow my family to go through that again. We cannot allow the dope and drug addiction to control us. We are stronger than that. When we can stay together helps. In the beginning of this, we were not in the same town and 100 miles apart due to probation. Instead of Tommy goin to prison, we decided to try letting Tommy stay in Abilene and Cody are I stayed in Brookesmith. That was just as hard as when Tommy was in jail. Then we get our crappy landlord to surprise us with evicting us. He even admitted that it was because Tommy was not there. I was shattered. Cody was worse since not five minutes after Cody put our Christmas tree (that someone gave us) up, the landlord gave us the bad news. Now, we are temporarily living with Tommy's sister in Abilene. At least we are with Tommy. Robbie and Donald are so gracious to let us live here. I am forever grateful. I love my family. They are my world.

This will in fact be a good year. For my family, our son, our recovery and our extended family . We are still dealing with Tommy being on 24-hour surveillance and we almost have his bail bonds company paid off. We have one more payment. Woohoo!! I'm loving being able to see my hubby every morning. He keeps me going whether I like it or not . LOL

More to come of this year...