The night and day after doctors appointments, not so good...

     Last night was rough, to say the least on these kiddos.  Catching up on their immunizations was rough for them and they had a little bit of pain and did not feel good at all.  I did the best I could to soothe them with PawPaw's help.  He is such a wonderful man.  He works 6 days a week to provide for us and we love him for it.  I know he works hard since he comes home muddy and dirty.  I may complain about the mud on the floor and the clothes, but I know he is working hard and doing a great job while he is at it.  Tommy is a very smart man with a wonderful imagination and can accomplish anything.  The projects and jobs they accomplish are extraordinary.  The pictures and videos he shows me and what I used to could see on Facebook (my account was hacked and cannot access my account any longer) are amazing.  

    I'm telling you, they are perfection.  One of these years we might be able to afford at least one of those projects, but if we don't, it's ok.  We are truly blessed with what we have.  We had a great life, or so I thought before the drug addiction.  We are truly living a great life now with numerous blessings and these kiddos and our granddaughter Braylee.  Our kids are struggling, but we try our best to help them.  This COVID crap is hard on everyone.  Don't get me started on the shitshow of that.

    I really need to learn to take better care of myself.  These last few months have been an eye-opener of how bad I have been to myself.  My body is hurting all of the time and my teeth are awful.  I used to have a normal amount of fat (even though I thought I was fat) and the prettiest teeth.  Now, I am carrying several spare tires and have rotten teeth.  But, that is not going to stop me from being the best MoMo I can be to these babies.  I just have to choose which days we can venture out and go to the park.  Some days I can get this body going and there are some days it says we have to stay around the couch and find ways to have fun inside (which is several days after an outing).  I wish we could treat this arthritis better, but we have to wait until the heart issues are ruled out.  Soon, soon.

    On a different note, I am wondering when our first freeze will be.  I cannot wait for these mosquitoes to die.  Oh my gosh, we cannot go outside or the kiddos will get swarmed.  If you leave the door open for a moment to let the dogs out or in, they just all come in and swarm us in the house.  It is awful.  Benadryl gel is being used a lot to soothe our mosquito bites.  We really wanted to take the kiddos trick or treating, but we will have to slather on the lotion and repellent to keep them away from us.  We have a few days and hopefully, we will be able to do something fun for these kiddos.  

    These changes in weather need to decide already.  The cool fronts along with the pollen are not helping our noses and throats.  Both kiddos have a runny nose and I have a sore throat.  I have had a double ear infection for over a month and have been through 2 rounds of antibiotics and steroids, but it just won't go away.  So frustrating.  Have a message out to my doctor to see what we can call in or if I need to go in to be seen.  I have never in my life been to the doctor this much.  That is why this needs to be a PSA for those who can start now, please take care of yourself.  It is so important.  I know now why my grandparents preached to me to do the same.  I just didn't take their advice.  

    Well, I hope everyone is having a great and blessed day.  I have to go do more dishes and more laundry.  And, I might as well sweep and mop up the floor again (done daily where my husband takes off his boots each evening).  TTYL.  God bless.

Just keep swimming...

     We saw some of our friends yesterday evening.  We are all in recovery and caught up a little bit.  We are so proud of each other and how we can all keep going.  Being able to talk about those things with others who understand helps so much.  There are days when I tell my story to everyone I see when I can and there are days when I just can't go through the thoughts again.  It can be a little overwhelming at times, but we get through it.

    Our grandbabies are keeping me going I know that.  We ate a late breakfast and went to Rose Park and played most of the morning.  We can feed the prairie dogs there, so we take a sleeve of crackers and try to get them far enough for them to grab and take back to their safe homes.  I just know I am tired, but I am so blessed to be able to do this with those kiddos.  My husband asked me to resign from my job to stay home due to the health issues I have, but we did not know that we would be taking this adventure, but we are glad that we are.  I would not change a thing.  

    I am in constant pain from arthritis that I have been diagnosed along with and fibromyalgia.  I am having a CT Angiogram the day before Thanksgiving and will find out if there are any problems with my heart.  I am praying that we can only have to deal with the arthritis and the bulging discs in my neck.  Small vessel disease runs in my family and I really do not want the doctor to tell me that is what it is.  I have ALL the symptoms.

    Eiher way, I will continue to live my life to take care of my family.  I know that I am not suffering as much as others that are out there, so I need to stop complaining and keep going.  I don't know what I want to accomplish with this blog, but I just want to be able to put my feelings out there and try to help others when I can.  I really have no idea how I am going to do that, but will try to find information that is helpful and can share it.  I just want to tell my story and try to inspire others.  I want so much for my family and myself that I want to be able to pray more and give more.

God bless y'all.

Getting back into the swing of things, I hope...

     There is so much to write about and so much going on that I cannot think of everything to put in this post.  We have been in recovery for over 5 years and are doing good.  No relapses, thank the Lord.  Things had gotten a little rough during quarantine when Tommy and I contracted COVID, but we only lost our taste and smell and had minor symptoms.  We quarantined with Cody even though he tested negative and still had no symptoms.  I was worried he would get it and it would complicate his asthma.   But we were blessed.  

    It has been over a year since I have written a blog post.  So much has happened and so much has gotten better.  We are still living paycheck to paycheck, but we have good reason too.  I have resigned from my job at the cleaners over a month ago to stay at home due to health issues, but now we are keeping 2 of our grandbabies and I am staying home with them to take care of them.  It is a sudden change since our youngest son is 19.  Peyton is a year and a half and Nova is almost 4 months.  It has changed our lives for the better in our eyes we enjoy these babies.  Not to say it is not stressful sometimes, but we are getting along nicely.  

    I will have more in later posts, since I am trying to get back into blogging.

God bless y'all.

Great Day...

Today has been a great day. I have been praying and just feel good about things. I am positive that things are going our way. We are going to get this water leak fixed soon and just keep livin'. I am in a very good mood. I miss my hubby, but got to talk with him a minute ago. He will be home tomorrow at 6. Love him so much. My attitude is much better today. No stress, less worrying. Prayer works. Love to spread the Word. Well, just wanted to share my good and positive day.  God bless...

Feeling positive...

Ok, gotta keep going. This is getting better for us. We are happy. This is the last weekend jail for Tommy. I'm so happy. I just wish I could talk to him or schedule a visit. Sux. But, he will be home soon. Then, he has permission from the landlord to fix the leak since the plumber said it was too difficult to fix. Either way, we have a plan and we know God is encouraging us to keep going. Cody is even being positive about all this. I'm glad we can come together and pray and talk about things. We are going to make it. I love these guys. We will not give up...

God bless.

Cody's first day of High School ruined

So upset. Cody's first day of high school is ruined by a person who tried to bully me around and threaten me. She won't threaten my husband to his face but threaten to send him to prison to me to torture me. She has threatened me for the last time with her LIES. I'M TIRED OF HEARING GET LIES!! That is all that comes out of her mouth. She threatened to kill me today. All her nasty voicemails and horrific texts will make a good laugh when it is over but right now I'm sick. I am just tired of people running over me and thinking they are better than me. She needs to stop and realize the situation before she opens her mouth. And to call me a lazy day bitch is uncalled for. Man, I wian she would take a gander in the mirror. It may show her the truth. I know that people who are unhappy try very hard to make others unhappy to make them feel better. I have been praying for her, my husband, my son and for myself to keep calm and let this blow over. I will not be talked to like that. She will continue to be hung up on and her texts ignored if she continues to act that way. I will not let her talk to me or my family like that. I'm done with this devil of a person. There is no forgiveness unless God Himself has me forgive this person. My husband is standing behind me 100 percent and I am standing behind him the same. I don'tknow why people have to lie and threaten people. It makes me sick. It literally makes me sick. My blood pressure is way high right now and I have a massive headache and I want to throw up. This has got to stop. I am done with this person even though they are my husband's family. He has had told me that after today we will not have anything to do with her since she has threatened our family. I am ranting out my frustrations since she ruined my son's first day. She threatened to come up there to the school to assault me and kill me. I swear. I pray that she can live with her actions. I pray for all in this situation and pray noone is hurt more than they are now.  We can survive this. God is in our side. God bless.

Overwhelmed and fed up

I am just tired of some people.  I know I need to pray for them, but they seem upsetting me on purpose. They damn well know it affects me and I'm just done. I know they are liars and that they don't care about me so why do I even try to help them when I get stabbed in the back. What can I do? I just have to keep trying I guess. I'm just broken. This wears me down. Along with the moving to a new house, changing schools and I'm failing both of my classes since I have no time to study or do my homework. I'm just ready to scream and give up. I want to hide from the world and stay away from everyone. This one person is evil and nasty and spreads a lot of bullshit about us to everyone. I just want to do good in my life and when I try this person find the wrong in it and points it out for all to see and it overshadows the good. I'm lost here. I need God to get me through this.

Father, I pray that you give my family strength to get through this without an awful incindent. I want to pray for her and make her see that I am trying to help and I want to be a good person Lord. I also pray that you keep  Tommy and Cody calm through all this.  Thank you for all of the blessings we have received.
In Jesus name I pray.  AMEN 

We need to stay on our road to recovery...

I am really loving that we go and have fun and play disc golf at the park as a family. We need to get out more and exercise. We have gained a lot of weight since we stopped doing drugs. Recovery is a smart choice for us. We work our butts off, but are proud of everything we have done to get here. I am so proud of my husband and my son's and am willing to keep trying and keep going. Love my family. God bless.

Tommy is home...

Well, the old man is now home.  It has been a struggle and will keep being that way, but one of the hard parts is over.  Thank you Jesus.  We just gotta keep livin'.  I know we are going to mess up from time to time, but we are never going to go back to where we were.  My son will not have to experience that again. Right now with all the rain, it is stressful enough to keep his asthma under control.  Him and Mamaw are having a rough time.  These fronts keep coming through, he cannot breathe, Tommy is not feeling good, he is scared the bone infection is coming back and I have a migraine everyday.  It's like the movie Groundhog Day.  We wake up, and it starts all over with the same things happening, everyday.  I am just glad that the Lord allowed me to get something done to get my husband out.  I only had to ask for a co-signer and not have to ask anyone for money.  I was so proud of myself.  Cody and I have been trying so hard to get that money together to get him out of jail and keep him out.  We are trying to get his probation caught up and do his community service and all that needs to be done for that.  I have taken it upon myself to kick his ass and get this shit done.  The bonds people and I are getting acquainted and we are going to stay on track this time.

Those two make me happy.  I know I complain about them joking around all the time, but I know I'm too serious all of the time.  They keep it even I guess.  Or I guess we could call it balance.  LOL

It has been a really good week with Tommy home.  We have been talking and trying to plan our future.  Now we have not really fought at all.  It has been kinda nice.  We are just not as moody as we were.  Our recovery is different and ongoing.  There is no way to sugar-coat it, it is going to be hell.  But, God will get us through.  I am still going to pray and keep my "War Room" and we are going to all be in there I guess.   A praying family.  That is what we need. 

Still have a lot to do and a lot on my list.  I have to get doctor appointments made for them and talk with my new boss again.  I started yesterday in an all of sudden way.  They called and I said I could make it.  If all goes well, I will get all the stores they service in Brady.  Love it.  I had fun and just really like it.  I am happy about my pay too.  It is a dollar and a half more than what I was going to make at United and United was going to start me out at a dollar and thirty-five cents more than they usually start someone out at.  So, I am making almost three dollars more than what I could have started out at. LOL.  I am super excited.  I really want to do a good job and the rep that was training me yesterday said I did above and beyond a good job on all of my work.  I am proud of myself.  

Well, I need to go to town and get things done.  Hope you all have a good day.  God bless.