Evicted before Christmas...

Well, once again we have been given bad news. So tired of bad news. We've (my son & I) been having to live away from my husband because of probation rules, so now we will be reunited but by being evicted. The worst part is it is right before Christmas. It's so disappointing for my son. He just put up our tree and finished decorating it when our landlord knocked on the door giving us the bad news. But, God has a plan and I have to have faith it will work out. I am leaving Brookesmith today for Abilene, but have chosen to let my son stay longer, at least until Christmas break to keep working on getting his grades up and saying goodbye to his friends. He will be staying with friends and hope he can get his grades back up. He is almost there now and don't want to make it worse. He is a good kid  and is so smart. I love that boy with all my heart and his dad. I love Tommy's other 3 kiddos too even though two of them hate me. Everyone keeps saying they will come around and I pray that's true. 

Well, me and the dog are waiting on our ride. I can't wait to see my husband. At least I get to take my dog. Freckles is my baby. Cody gets to keep his dog with him, Sister. I just hope we can find our cat since she was lost last night. Jones is our cat but I don't know where she's at. The boys were too rowdy moving her and she took off. I hope Cody can find her. 

This just sucks right here at Christmas time. I know the Lord is with us and I have faith it will be alright. That's all for now. More later. God bless.

War...

Well, I'm at war with myself.  My husband does not believe me that I am behaving myself in my recovery.  I have not touched a bit since BEFORE he went to jail.  I know better.  Now I am not telling everyone this just to hear myself talk.  I am pissed now though.  I cannot get him out of jail and so he is angry with me.  So what the hell do I do?  Why does he have to take it out on me?

I am now at war with everyone but Tommy and Cody.  Cody is my rock.  Why should I trust anyone else?  Especially when no one trusts me.  I have given up a lot and wanted to change my life when I met my husband.  I accepted his two boys and his girl as my own.  But, they all called another mom and even made a point to call even another mom.  They have tried and tried to make me mad and threw it in my face that I am not their mother.  Now these women have only tried to break my husband and I up and have only tried to cause me heartache.  I dislike people like that and I have forgiven them, but I still dislike the fact that Tommy and I have been together for almost 15 years and one of them just cannot let him go.  She is so unhappy with her life that she will do a lot to make everyone else miserable.  I am not threatened by her, just tired of dealing with her.  I do not feel the need for her in mine or my husband's life and she needs to realize that and get the hell away from all of us.  She is not welcome around my home.

This is all about to come to an end.  I will not put up with people meddling with my family.  Now, when Tommy gets out, there are a lot of changes he has to deal with.  And there will be some other changes that we discussed.  There is going to be no contact, what so ever, with numerous people.  We will have new phone numbers and be "off the grid" to most people.  And I mean most.  He has said so hisself and I am taking that and running with it. I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY HUSBAND!!  That is what everyone is waiting for.  Well, the wait is over.  Go away.  I will not give up on him, so you can leave now and save yourselves the trouble for when he gets out.  There is no need for you to contact me or him, or even come by.  Thanks.

I am not making anyone the enemy.  They make themselves that when they lie to me or my son or even try to use us.  I have not tried to use anyone.  It may seem like it, but I have always made a point to not use anyone, even when other people do it to support their habit.

There are a lot of people out there that are nice to your face, some days.  But, there are even more fakes, users, manipulators and etc. out there.  I do not plan on being one of them.  We deal with them everyday.  We just need to know when to spot them.

I love my family and want what is best for them even if I AM THE BAD GUY/GAL.  That is all I have ever done and I pay the price.  They can all go around spewing lies and making themselves look good.  Ya know, they need to take a step back and check themselves again.  That magic mirror is wrong.  That things lies to us like we lie to ourselves.  We just have to know the difference and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in our lives or someone elses.

Thanks for listening.  God bless.