Thursday, April 28, 2016
I think it's cool to be able to make money from home this way. I am a member of several sites and will continue to sign up for more. I just have to keep trying and things will happen. You never know, things happen for a reason. Gotta love free.
God bless y'all.
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Here is a little information that was from Matthew Lesko that I found. If it can save you money, it is worth it. The YouTube video says it is a $120 grant from the government to pay for wi-fi at home.
Seems like it may be worth a little effort.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Now don't get me wrong, we are not perfect. LOL. But, we are trying to get by and help each other out, like family is supposed to do. I am trying to do what I can to help out and they are doing what they can. I appreciate them letting us stay here and I'm not just saying that because she might be reading it. They did not have to take in a middle-aged woman with a bottom-less pit of a 13 year old and all our drama. My husband being in jail is the least of the problems due to other baggage and issues.
My family is my life and it is hard for me to be without all of them. Cody understands when I become a sobbing mess and tries to help me. Freckles mostly takes over and licks my face. He has helped me so much too. They know that I don't want to break, but when I do, it is bad. I have had a migraine for two days and I have been praying and praying my husband will get out soon. The devil is trying to get inside my head and make me think awful thoughts and I am trying to resist. I pray I can do this. Please Lord keep those people away and don't let my husband contact them again. Those people are no good and I don't want to see her or anyone of their kind around him or my sons ever again. They are not wanted here. She can leave and never come back and I will be happy. It will not be the case though. I have been trying for 15 years and they always come back because they always want MY husband to take care of them. They need to stay away. HE IS MY HUSBAND. I think they need to learn how to take care of themselves or find someone who can. I am done. My husband loves me and I love him. Why can't they just leave us alone?
I am so tired and weary. I sit here looking through old pics and think of my boys. They love their dad and hopefully will see him soon. I am so tired of crying. God bless you all.
Monday, April 11, 2016
Well, I'm at war with myself. My husband does not believe me that I am behaving myself in my recovery. I have not touched a bit since BEFORE he went to jail. I know better. Now I am not telling everyone this just to hear myself talk. I am pissed now though. I cannot get him out of jail and so he is angry with me. So what the hell do I do? Why does he have to take it out on me?
I am now at war with everyone but Tommy and Cody. Cody is my rock. Why should I trust anyone else? Especially when no one trusts me. I have given up a lot and wanted to change my life when I met my husband. I accepted his two boys and his girl as my own. But, they all called another mom and even made a point to call even another mom. They have tried and tried to make me mad and threw it in my face that I am not their mother. Now these women have only tried to break my husband and I up and have only tried to cause me heartache. I dislike people like that and I have forgiven them, but I still dislike the fact that Tommy and I have been together for almost 15 years and one of them just cannot let him go. She is so unhappy with her life that she will do a lot to make everyone else miserable. I am not threatened by her, just tired of dealing with her. I do not feel the need for her in mine or my husband's life and she needs to realize that and get the hell away from all of us. She is not welcome around my home.
This is all about to come to an end. I will not put up with people meddling with my family. Now, when Tommy gets out, there are a lot of changes he has to deal with. And there will be some other changes that we discussed. There is going to be no contact, what so ever, with numerous people. We will have new phone numbers and be "off the grid" to most people. And I mean most. He has said so hisself and I am taking that and running with it. I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY HUSBAND!! That is what everyone is waiting for. Well, the wait is over. Go away. I will not give up on him, so you can leave now and save yourselves the trouble for when he gets out. There is no need for you to contact me or him, or even come by. Thanks.
I am not making anyone the enemy. They make themselves that when they lie to me or my son or even try to use us. I have not tried to use anyone. It may seem like it, but I have always made a point to not use anyone, even when other people do it to support their habit.
There are a lot of people out there that are nice to your face, some days. But, there are even more fakes, users, manipulators and etc. out there. I do not plan on being one of them. We deal with them everyday. We just need to know when to spot them.
I love my family and want what is best for them even if I AM THE BAD GUY/GAL. That is all I have ever done and I pay the price. They can all go around spewing lies and making themselves look good. Ya know, they need to take a step back and check themselves again. That magic mirror is wrong. That things lies to us like we lie to ourselves. We just have to know the difference and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in our lives or someone elses.
Thanks for listening. God bless.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
I am really in need of some patience. I am sitting here singing the Guns 'N Roses song. "Just a little patience, yeah yeah" I guess it kind of calms me down. It just gets me to singing that song anyways. Right now I don't have much patience left. I am trying not to lose my temper and not get mad over every little thing. It is hard for me not to say some things and hard for me to ask for help and point out the obvious. I really really appreciate the help I have been receiving and want so much to be able to pay them back and not have that hanging over my head each day.
Tommy tells me not to worry too much about it, but I really do worry about and I hate to even hint or ask for help. Now I have gone and asked all of my family for help. Now no one is jumping up to help. I cannot even get a response from my messages, either voice or text or even Facebook messaging. Am I that bad? Have I burned my bridges? I did not think that I have been asking too much of them. My aunt has helped me a few times the last two weeks since I have had technical issues with my PayPal. Thanks to her, I could get a few sales calls done and make a few bucks. I really, really need help to make this work since I think we are down to the last leg of this journey.
I am really excited that I got an offer from United Supermarkets. I really wanted the job and had my second interview yesterday. It will be paying more per hour starting out since I have experience. I got another call today and got a job offer from Driveline and I think I'm gonna take it. It pays $2.00 an hour more than the United job's starting pay. But, I really would rather do the merchandising job and really would like the freedom and the flexibility and even more money an hour. I am super excited and thank God for this. I am trying to get my life together and really want this opportunity. The Lord had been with me and my family and now is the test and more and more positive things are going to happen. I just need to keep on track and keep going. I'm so proud and cannot wait to tell Tommy about it and since I cannot talk to him right now, I can tell him when I go see him in the morning. I am super excited and can't wait until we leave to go see him. Man, I guess I need to get some sleep so I can get up and get ready in the morning.
Good night and God bless!!!
Thursday, April 7, 2016
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Freckles is just a miracle. His mom had 10 pups total. There were solid brown, solid black and only two speckled or freckled. There was Freckles who is red, brown, tan and white and there is Toby who is black, silver and white. Out of the 10 pups, only 3 survived. Freckles is one and the other two barley made it from what I understand. I took Freckles early to help the mom out since she had 10 and Freckles really never stayed up by the others anyways. He was very loud and it bothered the owner of the mom. The mom was a chocolate lab and the dad was a blue pit. Pictured below is the dad, our blue pit, Blue. Miss that boy everyday. He was my husband's dog and he was the best. Now, the mother of the pups, Pebbles is deceased too. She died a week after I took Freckles. Come to find out, she had been sick and I guess she passed through her milk to the other pups and 7 of them died. Now like I said, I took Freckles early because he was different and that the owner of the mom didn't like him being so loud and staying off alone. Thank God I took him is why he is healthy and alive today. He is my baby. He is huge now and will be two on July 4th. But, I wouldn't take for him.
I love my little Freckles. He is the best dog I have ever had. During my recovery and while Tommy is incarcerated. This dog is my therapy. He listens to me, lets me cry and tries to make it better, he is just an all around help. Cody and Freckles get along most days. They play a lot and fight a lot. But, in any case I know I got a good, smart dog and at least he loves my husband or one of them would have to go. And I guess I would have to find a good home for my husband to go to. Ha Ha. Just kidding. They would have to suck it up and go on. I would not give up my husband, my son or my dogs. I love them all and my other sons and my daughter. I love my family and it is us against the world.
Above is pictures of Freckles enjoying the fan. He is such a ham. He loves to lay in front of the air conditioner and the fan. He really cracks me up. I love that boy. He may be a Daddy soon. More on that later. God bless.
Friday, April 1, 2016
I just think it is cool that my son loves to take photos just like me I really love to catch people, animals and even the scenery. My favorite thing right now is heart-shaped things in nature. Our preacher talked about it one Sunday and it makes me think like him. God loves us and that is one of the many ways he reminds us of his love. I love to see heart-shaped cactus, leaves or anything in nature. I have mostly pics of those and Cody had mostly sunsets and horizons. But, anyways I love to see what he comes up with each time. He is my little boy even though he is not so little. When we went to visit his Dad in jail, Tommy said it looked like he grew a foot. He is getting so big and I just love him so much and that is why MY recovery is so important. I know that Tommy is being put through his recovery/detox by being in jail, but my son is helping me with mine. He knows what is going on because I tell him everything. I mean EVERYTHING. That boy knows who is fake and who is real because I am teaching him. Talk about the "School of Hard Knocks". Cody knows how to read people and can spot a fake. He knows who is trying to use who and can keep them at arms length.