Still on our path...

It's been a while and I have been working and working everyday.  But, we are getting to stand more and more on our feet and on our own. We are not dependent on anyone as it should be... We are happy but tired and we just love being together. Our little family is killing it. We got this and so on and so on. I love my husband and my son and we are gonna make it.

Our life has been getting better and better everyday.  We are staying focused on God and each other.  I am so proud of my husband and my son for keeping going.  Right now Cody has swimmer's ear in both ears and is a little puny, but will soon be getting better.  We had a scare yesterday about his blood pressure and the possibility of diabetes.  I am working on getting him an appointment with a new pediatrician to get it all checked out.  I was extremely surprised when the Dr. said is lungs were clear.  I have been waiting a long time for that.  He has been doing better controlling his asthma.  I just pray we can keep it under control.  I love my family and want the best for them.

Well, Freckles is now 4 years old.  I love my little boy.  He means the world to me and I don't know what I would do without him.  He has been there for me when I needed him and not known what to do.  When Tommy was locked up he kept me sane and I am just glad that is all behind us now.  I am just so happy that we have put all of that behind us.  We are still paying for the probation each week and trying to pay it off.  We are still behind and we are trying like hell to pay it off.  But we are now getting the balance lower and lower each week.  We are trying so hard to pay off our tickets and surcharges and all that we owe.  I am praying every day to keep trying even though we don't make enough each week or every two weeks.  I know we can make it and just keep rising.  There is no going back to where we were.  I will not go back down that road and don't want to go through that hell again.  I love my family so much and there is no way we need to subject ourselves to that junk and filth again.

I am a fat old lady now, but I like to be fat and sassy.  Cody and I have decided that we are going to lose weight no matter what.  But, I am going to do it in a healthy way, not on dope like last time.  My recovery is very important and so is mine and Cody's health.

God bless.

Family...

   There are times when the world just tries to keep you down. We all know the devil has his hand in trying to make sure you don't succeed. Now, he has been working overtime on my family lately it seems. But I gotta say, we are doing our best to fend him off. We are getting stronger each day and can fend off his attacks. God is with us and we are so much better for it.  

   I don't see any reason why we have to be put this everyday, but I am feeling a little ragged lately.  This is really wearing me down and I am leaning hard on my sons.  They have been so awesome to help me.  This is making it more and more painful for me.  I am succeeding in staying straight.  I am in full recovery and will not go back.  There is no way.  I promised my sons and my husband and myself.  Tommy has also promised to stay on the right path.  

   Now things are trying to come crashing down.  A friend is in the hospital with 4 broke ribs, a broken collarbone and a collapsed lung and I am praying he gets well soon and I am still calling on God and leaning on Him.  He will always be there for me and my family.  I will always have Him.

    My husband is acting like a jerk today since I can't get more information about his case.  It hurts me everytime he gets upset and yells.  He's not mad at me, but I hate to hear him yell and get angry.  I keep trying to calm him down and keep his spirits up.  I can only do so much.  I love Tommy with all my heart.  I need him now more than ever.  I will be with him forever.  That means something to both of us.  We are one and will be that way and have God on our side.  

    I got some stuff to take care of, so I gotta get that done and pray some more on this.  God bless you all.

Russchelle

Life is hard...

     Life is hard.  I know, I know it is hard on everyone. Well, I know everyone takes it differently and everyone has a different goal or purpose of being here.  I really think I know what my purpose is and there are some who do not know, but sometimes it is just hard to stay focused on that goal and to keep going.  There are days of depression and days of just don't want to.  I think I am having one of those days.
     I am just so run down and do not know what to do.  It just keeps nagging at me that there is really nothing I can do.  I want to be excited about a possible job tomorrow morning.  I really hope I get this job, but really think I want a merchandising job. Who knows, maybe I don't know what I want.  I know I am damn good at pressing shirts and have experience and can just get to work and not have to waste a lot of time of training on the equipment.  I know I can do it.  Instead, I just want to be able to find a position in merchandising that will suit me.  I know that there is one out there.  I just have to keep going until it comes along.  I have to be positive.  I always tell my husband that things happen for a reason.  

     And usually he just looks at me like I'm crazy and then usually, things do happen that work out in the end.  How crazy is that?  I am usually the positive one.  It just so happens that when I am down, he then becomes the one that is positive that keeps me going and I love him for that.  
     Now, the words written above were typed on the way to church this morning and a lot has happened since this morning.  Man, has it.  Our preacher led a sermon this Valentine's Day that was spot on to my life.  I am so amazed that he was preaching and talking about everything, and I do mean everything, that is happening in my life right now.  It was so amazing and I gasped once during the sermon and my husband had to keep me in my seat.  I am telling you that he had my life nailed!!  I am still in shock.  I won't go into all of it, but let me tell you that it opened my eyes a bit more and put a little more on the fire that is burning in me and under me to keep going.  So you see, life is hard.  Let's not make it harder by being down.  Let's lift each other up and keep each other motivated and love one another.

God bless.