Life is a funny thing...

Ya know, life really is a funny thing.  For almost 15 years I have been focused on my husband and kids and still am, don't get me wrong.  I have been told that I care too much, that I smother them and that I need to let them do things on their own and I am controlling.  I will not apologize for caring.  Now, you don't care when you just stick your nose in and try to make sure they do what you want them to do and not care what the outcome is when they don't.  I follow through and accept the outcome, whatever it is.  Now I'm not saying that it has not been a struggle, but it has not been as bad as most.  I know I am truly blessed to have my family and will always be grateful.  There are a lot of people out there that feel since they are not happy and that they did not get the life they deserve due to abuse or hardship that no one else should have it too.  Well, ya got another thing coming.  People, you don't expect it.  You need to be content with what you have and make the most of it to be happy.  You are a good person, no matter what you have done.  We are created in God's image.  And I have never seen any evil in that.  You have got think that there are a lot of people out there that just give up because maybe they don't think they are worthy of forgiveness or even think they can turn their lives around.  No, they are just lazy or misinformed.  There is always a solution.  It may not be the one that they want, but there is always a way to FIX things.  Broken or unbroken.  Now, I do not know it all, but I do know that I love having my family and what friends we have left due to recover/rehab issues.  You really need to stop and think:  What has God given me that I have put away and not looked at or used in a while?  Well, it may be your conscience, your pride, your boldness, your sense of humor or whatever you had or thought you had or even thought you might have.  You never know.  Stop and think and let contentment or even adventure unfold and see where it takes you.  Right now I am sewing up a friends pants and looking through my sewing box.  I have found a dozen or more of projects I put away to sew up later.  I am breaking it out and granted, I will not do them all today, but it makes me think, what have I put away that I have forgotten about?  Now I am not talking about all of the physical things either.  Someone out there is struggling with drugs, abuse, neglect, and numerous other things out there.  Let God restore all of your gifts.  It will not happen overnight, but it will happen if you stay positive and keep your eyes on God.  He knows what is best for you.  Thanks for listening.  I am full of contentment and joy even though Tommy is incarcerated and my face prison/rehab.  I am happy he is and will get the help he needs and I am in recovery myself and we talk about it over the phone.  He knows and he accepts.  We pray together and pray for each other.  I love him and he loves us.  We will get through this and keep going.  There isn't any other way for us.

God Bless Y'all!!!

Alright, now I have said my worst, who's next?

There has got to be a point where it just stops.  Now, I have told everyone over and over and over what is going on.  Let me just do it ONE more time so that there is no confusion (you know who you are):  Okay, Tommy has been on probation for a while now, but has not been going or paying due to his maturity and that he just didn't want to.  I have been the grown-up and either paid on it when I could or just called to do his check-ins with his Probation Officer and with all of his Bail bonds people.  Now, I can only do so much when I have no money or when we run out of luck when they revoke his probation and when he decides to leave the treatment facility even though they say he can.  Since it is court ordered, it really doesn't matter what we want, he still has to do the 9 months + so that the state will be satisfied.  Well, screw that now.  Since he walked out, there is that new charge, plus the revoking of the probation and etc.  So, he has had a warrant out for him for a few months.  The first time he got caught, he told everyone he would take care of it.  Well, he lied.  He did nothing and I tried to cover and do what I could since he has the final say.  Now, his luck ran out again and it was a simple traffic stop that put him in jail again.  There is no new charge, just the motion to revoke and the leaving of the treatment facility.  So, everyone still with me?  Ok, if you are lost, too bad.  This is the same shit over and over.  Now, if you know what is going on, good.  I will continue and say that I am working very hard to get something together and saving to get him out.  Now I know it may be a waste of money if I get him out before his indictment, but I may not get the money together before then.  But, all of the time he is in there right now will count toward that when they do indict him.  So, either way, he has to wait.  I cannot gather all the money to bail him out yet and will be patient.  He is being patient and will have to be.  I love that man with all my heart and will continue to do for him.  Now if anyone would like to help, you can comment on here or send me a message on my Google + page or find me on Facebook.  Russchelle McNutt Foster.  Now, I am not expecting anyone to help, but it never hurts to ask, right?  I am just venting and telling me story.  It is after all still a free country.  LOL  Well, will have more later.  God bless you all and good night.

Life is hard for a lot of people...

I seem to be whining a lot lately. I am not giving up.  I am just so tired of all of the people that think they know what is going on.  Now when I tell you what is going on, that is what is actually happening. Don't try to judge us and put what you thought was going on into the mix.  Because that only going to piss me off more.  I am doing my damnest to keep what I have and keep going to take care of my son and do what my husband wishes while he is incarcerated.  Now you people that are sticking your nose in and profiling can just go away.  I am not going to stoop to your level and answer your stupid questions.  I will not text you back if you ask me anymore dumb questions which you should know the answer to.  I HAVE NOT been using and AM NOT using methamphetamines right now.  So, if you think you know what is going on in my life, YOU DON'T!!!!!  

So, that is what is happening today folks.  If you want to know something, yes, ask me, but I have already been over this with you and already told everyone the same shit over and over and over.  I am just so tired of the bullshit and having to repeat myself.  Tommy is not having a fun time in jail and I am doing my damnest to raise money BY MYSELF AND GET ANOTHER JOB.  I will not ask for help except to put money on Tommy's phone or on our phones so we can communicate.  Right now he has money on his books and we have a place to stay and money on our phones for a couple of weeks.  If anyone wants to help, they can put money on the phone for him or I am taking a collection to pay the bail-bond person, whoever I choose, to bond him out.  

Now, if that is just too much,  I guess we will be cutting our ties to a lot more people than we thought.  Tommy and I already have cut a lot of ties to people who we thought were our friends.  I now have only 3 friends in my life that are Tommy's and that are doing what they can for me.  Also, I have one of his cousins and one of his siblings that are willing to help.  Now, I have no family at the moment.  My family and I are not communicating due to this also.  They are hypocrites just like Tommy's family.  They want you to do what they think is right and they do not see that they are also doing what we have been doing.  They are also drug addicts, alcoholics and etc. just like us, but are not willing to admit it.  I am getting really tired of all of the hypocrites that think they will not be found out.  Now listen, it is not my job to tell anyone.  I am sitting back and letting everyone know my story so that they can know that there is someone else out there that has been through it.  I am not trying to get sympathy in any way, I am just trying to tell my side of the story.  My son knows about this and he is OK with it.  I am just trying to make sure MY VOICE is being heard too.

Thanks for listening...

God Bless, I have to do what my husband and I discussed:  I am taking it to the WAR ROOM and I am going into battle.

Good Night!!!

Just can't do it...

It is so hard to be a good person.  I cannot believe how hard it is to be a good person.  When you are a drug addict, it is hard to get a fair shake.  I know that is no excuse but we are trying hard to get our lives back together.  I know that we cannot try hard enough to do what we need to do.   We work hard everyday to repair the damage that has been done to our lives due to the evil hold that illegal drugs has on you.  Now, I do not know if many of you understand, but it is an eye-opening experience.  

I love my husband and I love my life.  I just hope I can educate or help someone with what I am writing.  

Man, we worked our ass off today to help a good friend and is wife get some things done today.  Needless to say, we would have done that when we were on dope but, we really wanted to help them out and keep going and doing good.  I know we missed church this morning, but we could not help that.  We only have so much time before our friend has to go back to work, I will go back to work in the morning and his wife has so much homework since she is going back to school, it is not funny.

I too, am proud of us, even though I am writing this and I am about to pass out from exhaustion.  I got a sunburn and so did my husband.  But, sometimes we just have to do what we can and do what is right for other people. 

I am not saying that is what we do ALL of the time, BUT, we at least try.  I really want to be a better person and I will help everyone I can and do all I can to be that better person.  I love my family and want to be the best I can be.  I really hope one day that we can be proud of ourselves again.

Have a wonderful day tomorrow and have a blessed week.  I know I will.

God bless you all!!!